Therapeutic Philosophy · United Kingdom · Română
Integrative
neuroaffirming therapy
An integrative and holistic approach, in which the mind, body, relationships and meaning are all addressed within the same session.
Holistic is a word that has come to mean almost anything. Here it means something precise: I don’t stop at what goes on in the mind.
Most people arrive with a list of problems that look separate. It is rarely one event; it is years of small demands in an environment that was not built for the way you work, and the bill is paid wherever you have the least room to manoeuvre. Often it is the same drained resource going by a different name in each place: at home it is called mess, at work procrastination, in the body a tiredness that doesn’t lift, in relationships distance. Taken one by one, they look like four separate ways of falling short. Put side by side, they turn out to be one thing, tired.
I work online with autistic adults and adults with , , or , in the United Kingdom, in Romania and elsewhere.
I know several psychotherapeutic approaches, and how they come together depends on you and on the stage you are at: some from the start, others once the first ones have made room.
Sessions last fifty minutes, on Google Meet. The first conversation is thirty minutes and there is no charge.
Person-Centred TherapyInternal Family SystemsSchema TherapyNervous System RegulationDBTPsychodynamic TherapyTranspersonal Psychotherapy
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Approach 1 of 7 · Relationships & the Self
Person-Centred Therapy · You don’t have to prove your worth to be met with unconditional acceptance.
The basis of the practice
It helps when you’ve never felt truly safe being yourself — in therapy or anywhere else — without managing how you’re perceived or meeting external expectations
Unconditional acceptanceNo hidden agendaYou set the pace
- What is
- Person-centred therapy is based on the idea that, in an atmosphere of genuine acceptance, people naturally move in the direction that is right for them. It is not for me to decide how you should feel or who you should become. My role is to provide a space where you no longer need to explain yourself, justify yourself or translate what you feel into a language that someone else expects. For many neurodivergent people, this is the first relationship in which ‘masking’ isn’t the price of admission, and difference is seen as just that – a difference – rather than a flaw to be fixed.
- At the meeting
- I spend most of the session listening and checking that I’ve understood what you meant to say, not just what it sounded like to me. You won’t receive unsolicited advice, nor will I push you towards a conclusion I’ve already decided on; if I have an opinion, I’ll state it as an opinion, not as a verdict. Silences can remain silences. When I feel we’re heading in a direction that isn’t helpful to you, I’ll ask — and we’ll change course, without the need for an explanation.
- Who is it for?
- It’s the right choice if you’re tired of being assessed and need a place where you can think out loud without being corrected at every turn. It’s also the foundation on which the other six rest: without it, any technique remains simply an instruction received from outside.
Approach 2 of 7 · Relationships & the Self
Internal Family Systems · The parts of you that seem to contradict each other are each, in their own way, trying to protect you.
The Interior Parts Model (IFS)
It helps when you feel pulled in opposite directions, you do things that aren’t in line with what matters to you, or you don’t understand why you do what you do
Parts, not faultsInner criticInternal conflict
- What is
- Internal Family Systems, developed by Richard Schwartz, looks at the mind as a family of parts. Each part grew over time with a protective role, even if what it does no longer serves you today: it has become too frequent, too present. Some protect you day to day, through perfectionism, through sacrificing yourself in groups, through isolating, or through pleasing everyone. Others step in as an emergency, when the pain breaks through, using whatever is at hand to put it out quickly. Underneath are the hurt parts, kept at a distance precisely so they don’t flood everything. The premise of the model is that no part is bad: each one wants for you what you want for yourself, even when the way it goes about it costs you. Alongside the parts, every person has a core, called the Self, which is not a part: calm, curiosity, clarity and compassion come from there, and so does the capacity to look after the hurt parts.
- At the meeting
- We work with the part that is showing up right now: we listen to it, find out why it does what it does, why it fears stopping, and show it that it is no longer the only one carrying the whole burden. We do not force anything out, nor do we label it. Often two parts are at odds, one demanding perfection and the other wanting you out of the situation at any cost; we listen to both, without siding with one against the other. As a part feels heard, it loosens its grip on the role it got stuck in, and decisions begin to come from a calmer place.
- Who is it for?
- It helps when you feel torn in two: you want to do something and you don’t want to, you start and then get stuck, and straight away that voice pops up to tear you down. It is also useful when your inner critic has become so familiar that you mistake it for your own voice, or when something in you flares up whenever you feel criticised and hits back before you have had time to think.
Approach 3 of 7 · Mind & Emotions
Schema Therapy · Some of your strongest beliefs about yourself were formed before you even had the words to express them.
Early patterns and beliefs
It helps when the same painful patterns keep repeating themselves, or you have deep-seated beliefs about yourself that seem true even though you know they aren’t
Early examplesCore beliefsRecurring situations
- What is
- Schemas are patterns formed early in life, at a time when they were the best way to adapt to what was around you. They are not only thoughts: they are memories, emotions, beliefs and bodily sensations tied together, grown out of needs that went unmet back then. Today they start on their own and make you react in ways you cannot explain rationally: ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘if I show who I really am, I’ll end up alone’. What keeps them alive is that they filter what happens to you now and bend its meaning until it confirms them. That is why being told it isn’t true doesn’t help.
- At the meeting
- We start with the state you go into when something frightens or upsets you. Schema therapy describes four kinds: the child states, the ways you defend yourself (fight, flight or freeze), the critical voice inside, and the adult who can hold all of them together. Once we know which one is speaking, we look for the pattern, the moment it formed and the situations that set it off today, then we practise a new response, in small steps, in real situations, without asking you to change overnight. We also look at the cost of the old strategy: what protected you back then and what it’s costing you now. Change comes from repetition in real-life situations, not from logically convincing yourself that a belief is false.
- Who is it for?
- This is useful when the same situations keep recurring in your relationships, at work or in the way you talk to yourself, even though each time you’ve set out to do something different. Particularly suitable if you understand rationally that it’s not your fault, but deep down it doesn’t feel that way at all.
Approach 4 of 7 · Body & nervous system
Nervous System Regulation · Your nervous system isn’t overreacting. It’s doing exactly what it’s been taught to do.
Somatic work, polyvagal-informed
It helps when you go into shutdown mode after social events, freeze up before difficult conversations, feel disconnected from your body, or only recognise the signs of burnout after you’ve had a breakdown
Physical conditionsSensory regulationBefore the words
- What is
- Somatic work starts with the body, and polyvagal theory is the frame that helps us read it: the nervous system switches between safety, alarm and withdrawal, and this happens before any thought or decision. Stephen Porges, who formulated the theory, calls neuroception the safety check your nervous system runs on its own, without asking you, reading the tone of a voice, the face in front of you, the noise and the light around you. It is not a choice, nor is it a lack of willpower; it is a protective reaction that has been calibrated over time. The same mechanism explains why one nervous system settles more easily next to a settled one: this is called co-regulation, and it is part of what happens in a session. For neurodivergent nervous systems, the threshold is often reached sooner, and recovery takes longer than the world around them allows.
- At the meeting
- Together, we’ll learn to recognise what state you’re in and what brings you back to a safe place — breathing, rhythm, movement, the sensory environment, and real breaks, not just theoretical ones. We’ll map out the early warning signs, so that you don’t only realise you’ve pushed yourself too far after you’ve already broken down, and we’ll adapt the environment where possible, rather than asking you to cope with more.
- Who is it for?
- This is for you if “I know what I need to do, but my body won’t let me” sounds familiar, whether you’re feeling exhausted or experiencing sensory overload.
Approach 5 of 7 · Mind & Emotions
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy · Practical skills for managing emotional intensity — tailored to your nervous system.
DBT · skills for challenging times
It helps when your emotions feel overwhelming or unpredictable, you experience meltdowns or shutdowns, or you need practical skills to cope with difficult moments
Practical skillsIntense momentsPractised, not taught
- What is
- Dialectical behaviour therapy was created by Marsha Linehan for people who feel emotions very strongly and very fast. The name comes from dialectics: two things that look opposite can be true at the same time. You are doing everything you can right now, and you still need something else in order to feel better. The skills come in four groups: being present and noticing without judging, getting through a crisis without making it worse, understanding and steering emotions, and handling relationships, asking and refusing without breaking the connection. The first two help you accept what is; the other two help you change what can be changed. Nothing you feel needs to be denied in order for you to make a change.
- At the meeting
- We don’t run the full DBT programme, with groups and weekly worksheets; I take from it the skills that help you. We pick a few, practise them together and adapt them to the way you function, not to what the manual says about a hypothetical nervous system. I won’t give you twenty worksheets; we’ll pick two or three things that you can actually do when you’re already in the flow, and we’ll make them simple enough to be accessible without needing intact working memory.
- Who is it for?
- It helps with intense emotional ups and downs, impulsiveness and episodes of crisis that pass quickly but leave you feeling ashamed and exhausted. It’s also suitable when rejection – whether real or merely suspected – ruins your day in a matter of minutes.
Approach 6 of 7 · Relationship & self
Psychodynamic Therapy · You have fitted yourself around other people so much that you no longer know what you wanted in the first place.
The adapting that cost you
It helps when you are different with every person, you adapt without noticing, and afterwards you are left empty
Masking and adaptingRelational patternsWhat got lost on the way
- What is
- Masking is not a lie and it is not a flaw in your character. It is a relational pattern learned early, usually because it was the only one that worked at the time. Psychodynamic therapy looks at exactly these patterns: how they formed, what they protected you from then, and what they cost you now. What I do not do: I do not read your neurodivergent traits as defences or as resistance. Avoiding eye contact, needing time to answer, or preferring to talk about concrete things are not material to be interpreted. This tradition got that wrong historically, and I am not repeating the mistake.
- At the meeting
- I stay with the feeling instead of moving past it. I notice where you go around something, without holding it against you. I name the patterns that keep returning: the same roles, the same endings, the same feeling afterwards. We go back only as far as the past explains the present, not as an archaeology exercise. And I watch what happens between the two of us, because at some point you will adapt to me as well; when I notice, I say so.
- Who is it for?
- A fit if you already understand a great deal about yourself and nothing changes anyway, or if your relationships keep ending up in the same place with different people. Especially useful after a late diagnosis, when you start to see how much you masked and what it cost.
Approach 7 of 7 · Relationships & the Self
Transpersonal Psychotherapy · Human development can continue beyond the alleviation of symptoms and the strengthening of the ordinary self — towards meaning and self-transcendence.
Meaning, self-transcendence and the spiritual dimension of experience
It helps when you feel that something essential is missing even when practical problems have been resolved, or you find yourself pondering questions about meaning, identity or spirituality
Meaning and valuesWithout dogmaA broad perspective
- What is
- Transpersonal psychotherapy makes room for questions of meaning, values and belonging, without steering them in any particular religious direction and without requiring any specific belief. It grew out of Abraham Maslow’s observation that psychologically healthy people describe peak experiences, moments of clarity and of connection with something larger, which the psychology of the time had nowhere to put. It does not replace work on what hurts; it is added to it, and it starts from a model of growth rather than one of illness. It also starts from the simple observation that personal development does not stop when symptoms subside: questions remain about what matters, who you are beyond the roles you play, and what to make of experiences that do not fit within conventional explanations.
- At the meeting
- We focus on what matters to you beyond what is causing you pain right now: what you find truly important, what keeps you connected to your life, and what you have put aside in order to cope. Sometimes this takes the form of a reassessment of your values; at other times, it’s a space where you can say things you haven’t said anywhere else, without them being treated as symptoms.
- Who is it for?
- It’s appropriate when, on paper, things are going well but seem hollow, or following a major life change that has shifted your frame of reference. And after a late diagnosis, when the question is no longer ‘what’s wrong with me’, but ‘who am I, really, if I’ve spent so many years living by someone else’s rules’.
How do they fit together?
Four questions, then I’ll show you how it would fit together.
You don’t simply choose a method from a menu and receive a diagnosis. You answer four questions, and below you’ll see how the approaches would be organised based on what you’ve described: where to start, what would be added along the way, and what remains in the background.
Question 1 of 4
When you’re having a hard time, where do you first feel it?
Result
That’s how it would fit together, based on what you’ve described.
It’s not a score and it’s not a formula. It’s the way I’d approach things with you during our first session: the order above is an initial outline, which we’ll review during our first discussion and adjust as we go along.
Specifically
What does this look like in practice?
Available online only, in Romanian or English. The first session is a free consultation, so we can see if we’re a good fit.
- Location
- Online only (video) — United Kingdom
- Duration of the session
- 50 minutes
- Frequency
- Weekly (recommended) or every two weeks
- Languages
- Romanian and English
- Online platform
- Google Meet (secure)
- The first meeting
- Free 30-minute consultation
Training and affiliations
Accreditation
MNCPS (Acc.)An accredited member of the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society, a register accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.
MNCPS (Acc.)An accredited member of the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society, a register accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.Affiliation
the Person Centred AssociationMember of the Person-Centred Association, the British association for the person-centred approach.
the Person Centred AssociationMember of the Person-Centred Association, the British association for the person-centred approach.Affiliation
Medical Cannabis Clinicians SocietyHealthcare professional affiliated with MCCS UK. Trained in the clinical applications and evidence base for cannabis-based medicinal products.
Medical Cannabis Clinicians SocietyHealthcare professional affiliated with MCCS UK. Trained in the clinical applications and evidence base for cannabis-based medicinal products.Specialist training
ASDCSAutism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist, Evergreen Certifications. Assessment, support and strategies for adults with autism, across the full spectrum of presentations.
ASDCSAutism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist, Evergreen Certifications. Assessment, support and strategies for adults with autism, across the full spectrum of presentations.Specialist training
ADHD-CCSPADHD Certified Clinical Services Provider, Evergreen Certifications. Executive function, emotional dysregulation and RSD-informed practice.
ADHD-CCSPADHD Certified Clinical Services Provider, Evergreen Certifications. Executive function, emotional dysregulation and RSD-informed practice.Academic background
London Metropolitan UniversityBSc (Hons) Counselling & Coaching, First-Class Honours — an integrative programme combining person-centred, psychodynamic and cognitive-behavioural approaches.
London Metropolitan UniversityBSc (Hons) Counselling & Coaching, First-Class Honours — an integrative programme combining person-centred, psychodynamic and cognitive-behavioural approaches.First contact
The first session doesn’t require you to be prepared
We’ll meet online, on Google Meet, for thirty minutes. This is an introductory chat and it is free of charge; therapy sessions, if we carry on, last fifty minutes. You don’t need a tidy story, a list or a diagnosis. You can start anywhere: with what happened this week, with something from ten years ago, or with the fact that you don’t know how to begin.
In the first session I listen and I ask. I want to understand how you work, not how someone is supposed to work. Towards the end I’ll tell you, in plain words, what I’ve understood and where I’d start, and you’ll tell me whether you recognise yourself in it or not. If you don’t, we change direction, not you.
I don’t expect an answer at the end. You can close the laptop, think it over for a week, or never come back, and that is all right. If you write to tell me you’d like to carry on, I’ll come back to you as soon as I have a place that fits your needs and your availability. Sometimes that happens quickly, sometimes there is a wait, and I’ll tell you honestly where things stand. Sessions last fifty minutes and the usual rhythm is once a week. Some people need two sessions a week for a while, others come twice a month, and towards the end of therapy the rhythm almost always eases off.
The therapy I offer has no number of sessions decided in advance. In English it is called open-ended: you don’t buy a package of eight or twelve sessions, and we don’t know at the start where the end is. There are short therapies with a fixed number of sessions, built around a single clearly defined problem, and for some things they work very well. But the people who come to me rarely arrive with a single problem. They arrive with twenty or thirty years of being told they are too much or not enough, with the tiredness that comes from masking, with a diagnosis that arrived late and everything that settled on top of it. I have no way of knowing, in the second session, how long it takes you to undo that. If I gave you a number, I’d be giving it to you because it sounds good, not because I know it.
‘No fixed number’ does not mean ‘forever’. Every two or three months we stop working for ten minutes and look back: what has changed, what hasn’t moved at all, whether it still makes sense to carry on the same way. That is also when we adjust the rhythm, if needed. And you can stop at any time, including between those check-ins, without explaining yourself to me. If in a year’s time you want to come back, the door stays open and we don’t start from scratch.
If you need breaks, the camera switched off, to write rather than speak, or a slower pace, tell me right from the start. It’s not an exception we negotiate. It’s simply how I work.
The first step
Ready to get started?
The first step is a chat. Let’s see if we’re a good fit.
The first consultation (30 minutes) is free of charge and comes with no obligation.
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